Just sitting on the steps......having a coffee and taking 5 minutes to breath. I started to think about the year that was. At the beginning of this year, I declared the word, "simple" over the year. It wasn't a New Year Resolution, but rather a desire of my heart. I yearned for the simple life. My life was anything but simple and running away to an Amish community seemed very attractive. Fast forward to now as we enter November, and almost at the end of the year. I marvel at all that has taken place this year, and just how, well, simple life is now!
This year has been marked with heart ache and struggles. Friendships disintegrated, I fell into depression, my homeschool wasn't working, my sons hated each other, one son was diagnosed with special needs, and I stopped going to church. It felt like my life was spinning out of control and well, complicated.
The thing is.....things had to fall apart in order for the simple life to emerge. I had to let go.
As it stands now, I have new friends in my world, and old ones have emerged. I no longer hold onto friendships so tightly. God walked me through my depression and with the help of a Christian psychologist, I now understand depression better, and have the tools to deal with it (or prevent it) in the future. We threw the workbooks out for a term, and unschooled. This allowed us to explore our own interests (me included). We talked constantly with the boys on how important family is and how friends will come and go, but brothers are forever. They now regard each other as best friends and there is harmony in our household again. We now understand our son diagnosed with special needs better, and know what to do to help him through his challenges. And stopping going to church has been the best thing that I have done this year. I didn't realise just how damaging going to church had been to my mental health until I stopped going.
I am living the simple life I craved so badly at the beginning of the year. It required a huge shaking up within me. It required trusting Holy Spirit during the storms. And now I sit with my coffee looking out onto my front yard, watching my boys loudly wrestling with each other, bursting into laughter, and I say, "It's simple really......just, let go."
“Are you tired?When people have seen me lately, time and time again, they have remarked that the heaviness that was once there is gone and that I look different.
Burned out on religion?
Come to me.
Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
- Jesus (Matt 11:28-30 msg)
I do feel different.
I feel free.
I feel lighter.
I am living in the unforced rhythms of His grace.
Still taking lessons from the King,