Thursday, 17 October 2013

See! He make all things new






I have never had much success in the garden. Mostly due to lack of knowledge. I really have no idea what I am doing! I planted these flowers last Spring, along with some bean plants. They happily grew along for a few months. We even harvested some beans.






 And then the heavy rains and floods of Summer wiped them out. I thought the flowers were dead. Nothing grew over winter.

And then come Spring, I was so surprised to see the flowers peeking out from the dry desolate, neglected soil!
As I marvelled at how you can think something is dead, only to find out it lay dormant for another season, I thought about my own journey over the last 12 months, from last Spring to this Spring. Last Spring, I felt Him whisper to me, "Your Spring is Coming!" But, before the season changed to Spring, I had to endure a long hard winter of depression. In fact, it was the most deepest darkest winter I had ever experienced.

Just like the flowers and beans were wiped out by rain and flooding, I too felt like I was being tossed around by the waves. The meaning of Paul's words, "The weaker I get, the stronger I become,", became real to me, as the only thing holding my head above the waves was His strength. I realised that I couldn't avoid this depression, I had to face it head on. I had to go through it and find what was causing this depression and cut it off at its roots. I realised that the roots lay in broken friendship wounds and hurts from within the church over the years.  I knew this time, I couldn't fight the pain or mask it or shove it way deep back down inside. All I could do was rest in Him and allow myself to feel the hurts, face them in order to move on. In my darkest moments during the depression, I felt Him with me. I was never alone.



Then I came to a place where there was light at the end of a tunnel and I walked out into a spacious place. I still felt vulnerable, so I cocooned myself for a while. I had to be mindful to guard my heart. In the past I was so wanting people to accept me and love me, that I ran after them. I gave my heart away too quickly. I decided that I would no longer do that. I trusted that He would bring people into my life. I stopped pursuing friendships, and let them develop naturally. I stopped wanting many friends, and started to look for those who would stick by me and love me unconditionally.

The man of many friends [a friend of all the world] will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. {Proverbs 18:24}

It has been interesting who He has bought back into my life and who was there all the time, but I didn't realise. I believe now that for the first time in my life, I am building friendships of depth and longevity. Because I am no longer desperate for people to accept me and love me, I have come to a place that I love and accept myself. There is no need to hold onto the friendships so tightly as I did before, scared that when they saw 'the real me' they would reject me, as has happened time and time again. The friendships that I am nurturing now see the real authentic Jo, because I am comfortable with who God made me to be.

When I travelled through the Valley of Death as I suffered from depression, there were times that I felt like I could die. There were times that there seemed to be nothing left to give as I was dried up, depleted and useless. But God! He makes all things new. And here I am months later seeing beauty in my life where I never thought I would. I am beginning to grow and bloom because of His love and grace.

God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and death shall be no more, neither shall there be anguish (sorrow and mourning) nor grief nor pain any more, for the old conditions and the former order of things have passed away.5 And He Who is seated on the throne said, See! I make all things new. Also He said, Record this, for these sayings are faithful (accurate, incorruptible, and trustworthy) and true (genuine). {Revelation 21}
When I travelled through the Valley of Death as I suffered from depression, there were times that I felt like I could die. There were times that there seemed to be nothing left to give as I was dried up, depleted and useless. But God-see, He makes all things new. And here I am months later seeing beauty in my life where I never thought I would. I am beginning to grow and bloom because of His love and grace.



Still taking lessons from the King,



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3 comments:

  1. My favourite line from The Passion of the Christ is "I make all things new". It stirs my heart, and I really need to remind myself more and more that Jesus said this for me. I'm thankful that we both have gone through the transformation we both needed over the last year. I am teetering, so I must be careful. God is so very good, and I'm glad that He brought you out of your winter into an even better spring that what you've experienced before. Pxo

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  2. I have been where you are with friendships. I never had a problem making friends until we moved to the state (in N. America) we live in now. I had to go a really long season of no friendships and had to come to the same place as you and now I cherish the ones God has brought into my life. Not sure I would cherish them today if I hadn't gone through that horrible dry season of winter without them. I truly love when you write from your heart. It brings forth some much encouragement. I know the difficulties are hard to go through, but remember God's promise to make all things bad, good for His glory. So happy God is blessing you today with those Godly friends!!! Hugs!!! <3

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  3. Oh, this:
    "Because I am no longer desperate for people to accept me and love me, I have come to a place that I love and accept myself. There is no need to hold onto the friendships so tightly as I did before, scared that when they saw 'the real me' they would reject me, as has happened time and time again. The friendships that I am nurturing now see the real authentic Jo, because I am comfortable with who God made me to be."
    Amazing. So grateful. (I love the real Jo.) :)

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Love,
Jo Princess Warrior xo