A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you
I feel like I have lived a whole month in one week. My world has been turned upside down, and it seems that for our family, we are about to enter a whole new world. Unfortunately, there was no magic carpet ride, but there was a handsome man beside me!
Last week my husband and I came to the realisation that we cannot go on as we currently are. Cracks are beginning to show in lots of places, and if we don't do something about it, it has the potential to tear this family apart. Our lifestyle is not sustainable as it is long term. Our stress levels are through the roof.
Mighty Prince Warrior runs and owns two businesses, and he has been very busy between the two. Which is great, but it means that he leaves for work early and sometimes works 6 days a week, then comes home and cooks dinner. I suffer from long term health problems and homeschooling the boys is putting strain on my already burnt out body.
So we have made a decision that I didn't foresee coming, but my husband and I have had to make for our family's sake. After homeschooling for 4 years, we have made the very difficult decision to send the boys to school in July.
I felt the God Whisper last week, and it was confirmed when I spoke to my Mighty Prince Warrior about it.
We agree that it is the right thing to do. Homeschooling has come at a cost for our family. Due to my health I am running on the 'petrol light' so to speak, constantly. I am living in survival mode and barely getting by.
Even though I have His peace over the situation, the day after we made the decision, I broke down. I sobbed on my kitchen floor.
I cried because I couldn't give my boys what they needed - a nurturing mother who wasn't always exhausted. I cried for our family's dream of homeschooling, and how reality doesn't often line up with how I envision life will go. I cried because I felt like a failure. I cried because I am afraid of the road ahead. I cried because I worry how my boys will cope with the transition. I cried because I am unsure whether or not the change is temporary or permanent.
We're built for change. Don't stay miserable because you're afraid of change. — Joyce Meyer (@JoyceMeyer) June 19, 2012
Wisdom knows that if we need a change, we will not get it by continuing to do the same things we’ve always done. — Joyce Meyer (@JoyceMeyer) June 18, 2012
Bottom line is, if we don't change something it could destroy our family. But if we do this, my body might be given an opportunity to heal. And if my body heals, my boys can have a mother who is full of energy, patient and not too tired all the time to do things with them. My husband can come home to a wife that looks after him, not the other way around. Not that he has ever complained about this. He picks up my slack, but it is exhausting him too.
And so very soon we will enter a whole new world of drop off and pick ups and packing lunches. I will enter a whole new world of dropping the title of homeschooling mum, and picking back up the title of stay at home mum. I will endeavor to rest (if I can remember how to do that.)
Change is never easy. But I know God is behind this. And I am trusting Him every step of the way as my husband and I go through the process of deciding what school to send our boys to. I am trusting that He loves my boys even more than I do and will look after them, protect them and help them with the transition.
And while our family is going through a season of change, I know that He never does.
I am the Lord, and I do not change - Malachi 3:6
We have been singing an incredible new song by Generation Music (yet to be released) in church on Sunday and the chorus goes like this:
I know, my God and He knows me |Before I speak He knows every need|I am found in You|Jesus, the rock on which I stand|You hold my world in the palm of Your hand|I am found in You
And so this is where faith (which really means trusting God) really kicks in. I am trusting that He knows my needs before I speak. I am trusting that He holds my world in the palm of His hand. Jesus is the rock on which I stand. And that is a good thing, because I'm sure I will be tossed around as we enter a whole new world, and I need a strong foundation on which to stand.
Still taking lessons from the King,