Friday, 22 June 2012

Feelings, nothing more than feelings...or what to do when your friend is going through a major life change

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Having made the decision to send the boys to school, after homeschooling for 4 years, a whole range of feelings came with it. It is interesting to me that I feel the extreme opposite of emotions, all at the same time.

I feel peace that we have made the right decision to send the boys to school.
I feel fear about how the boys will cope with the transition.
I feel excited about the prospect of a new season coming.
I feel grief for the old season that is ending.

I feel grateful for supportive friends.
I feel frustrated at strangers offering their opinion when I haven't asked for it.
I feel like I am moving forward. by sending the boys to school.
I feel overwhelmed by the the road ahead.
I feel brave for making the step to do this.
I feel scared of the unknown future.
I feel devastated that my dreams have been shattered.
I feel thrilled that new dreams (and old dreams laid to rest) are stirring in my heart.
I feel liberated form the burden of educating my boys. (Although I know that education is more than academics and I will always continue to educate them in other areas, knowing that parents are always a child's first teacher.)
I feel apprehensive at how the boys will cope with the transition to a formal classroom setting.
I feel confident that we have found the right school to send my boys to.
I feel vulnerable that there may be lots of learning gaps that the new teachers will find from my home schooling methods to date.
I feel eager to embrace the new season and all that it might bring.
I feel anxious to about letting go of the old season.
Most of all I feel optimistic and that He is looking after us.


Change is hard. I have had such amazing support from my friends near and far. A few have reassured me that it is going to be OK. The thing is, I know that it is going to be OK. I have that peace and reassurance in my soul already. I don't need to hear that its going to be OK.  The fact that I know it is going to be OK doesn't mean that it won't be hard. It doesn't change the fact that I may feel negative emotions from time to time. And I will not ignore those feelings. I will allow them to come, and I will sit with those feelings.


What I do need from my friends at this time is a listening ear. I need friends to allow me to tell them how I feeling without them trying to fix me. I need them to be patient with me as I ride the waves of my feelings and learn how to surf on them - instead of drown in them.  I need friends that will pray for me. I need friends to respond to text messages. I need friends to return my phone calls. I need friends that will understand that I may have to talk about this - a lot. I need to feel that I am not alone.





Still taking lessons from the King,







PS - Mrs Clark at blogs, tea and me is doing an amazing series on friendship right now.
You should pop over and have a look.

10 comments:

  1. Why do I keep missing so many of your important posts?!

    As someone who also goes through chronic illness, I have often wondered at my friend Jo, way down unda' who continues to persevere through homeschooling despite the fact that she has something that brings her even more exhaustion than what I have.

    Do you know how much you have been an encouragement to me when I have wanted to quit homeschooling?!

    But even now, you encourage others who may feel trapped and struggling like yourself to step out in faith and release your children to the Only One who is fully capable of guiding and directing their path.

    And know THIS: Every prayer you offer up on behalf of your boys throughout the day will be a timeless one; and may even do more for them than keeping them home all day!

    If I was a couple continents closer, I'd be warding off your critics! I pray that you will get better and heal, Jo. You are first of all a child of God, secondly, a wife and then a mom. After that comes homeschooling-as the Lord so wills it!

    Gentle hugs!

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    1. Michelle, thank you so much g=for your heart felt words xo

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  2. I love how you are able to express all the conflicting feelings, and feel so proud of you! (Is that weird?! Just wanna say YOU GO GIRL!)

    PS I have started a series on my blog on Friday about my own battle with depression, you might be interested in checking it out xxx

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    1. Thanks friend.Not weird at all.xo
      Loved your first post in depression!

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  3. I remember most of those feelings from when I made that transition with my kids. I didn't have the internet at that time. How often I think of what a blessing it would have been to have online community when I was in a tiny community without much encouragement...but God is the strength of my heart.

    Now that my nest is empty and I have wandered through those years with the fears and hopes, challenges and blessings, I see how every turn was God-ordained. Every fear, an opportunity to turn to Him in faith. He has been faithful. There are things I missed with my kids in school, instructing them in relationship challenges, especially my daughter's. (you know girls!) She is almost 24 years old and works through things that stuck to her during her school years that I often feel a pang of regret, but know that I can't thwart all the things the enemy would throw even in my 24/7 care. It is in the areas that we miss as parents that God uses to draw them close on the other side of their growing up years...now she is growing in her union with Jesus. He is faithful.

    No matter where they go to school, our God is refining US through the process and He is faithful! Having such a heart for our children...the heart that feels all those feelings at once is just what keeps us on our knees and on our toes (alert) and that is right where we need to be. The feelings are the blessing and the "tension" that we carry here on earth...the cross of daily dying, crucifying the fears and resurrecting new faith for each day.

    Bless you as you walk by faith as a mother. Remember this most important thing: Yet, I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. Psalm 73:23 and He will keep that which is dedicated to Him. <3
    Love,
    Kathy

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    1. Thanks Kathy, loved your thoughts here. And I appreciate them as one who has walked this journey before me. xo

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  4. Oh Jo I am a bit behind, don't get online much these days, wow what a big change for you. I have been through that rollercoaster of emotions myself this year. Missing the family times during the day, the slower pace of life, being involved in my son's education and knowing exactly what he is learning rather than just asking if he has any homework, but I have also had moments of sheer relief, enjoying the lack of academic responsibility,been encouraged seeing him make new friends and enjoy new things, lots of up and down moments!!! Thinking of you as you walk this new season xx00

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    1. I am nodding along with you knowing what all that you miss is what I too will miss and love about the new season. Thank you my friend. Here's to the new season. xo

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  5. Change brings so many conflicting emotions & feelings. Good on you for voicing those, for allowing yourself to feel them, share them and embrace them. You are a mighty woman of courage, Jo! I don't even know you really but you inspire me :)

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    1. Thank you Liz! Your words are an encouragement to me.
      YOU inspire me Liz. We must get that cuppa real soon. xo

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my lessons!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

Love,
Jo Princess Warrior xo