Friday, 27 April 2012

Walking out of the cage of condemnation

photo source

I had a real breakthrough in healing my soul a few years ago on my journey. I started to realise that although I was born again, I was still living under condemnation. This realisation freed me from the cage my soul was in.The condemnation kept me captive in a cage, of my own doing. Christ had died for my sins and there is no condemnation in Christ. But, I weighed myself down with my own condemnation. Condemnation was also the root of my depression that I experienced after the birth of my second son.

2 years ago, God stripped me back. I wrote in my blog post, It's Good To Be 'Me Again':
I had come to a point in my life where I looked good with all these other layers and decorative bits from other people's personalities that I had copied. But it just wasn't me.The masquearde was weighing heavy. It was a huge burden to carry. I didn't even know who I was anymore.

About 18 months ago I started to embrace ME - with all my flaws and idiosyncrasies. I declared to the world - This is me! And peeled off the many masks I had been wearing.  It was an exciting time of discovery just who I was. Up to that point, I had acted how others expected me to act or how I thought I should act. But it was unnatural and exhausting not be ME. I found freedom in being who He had made me to be.

Slowly ever so slowly, in fact so slowly, I hadn't even noticed. I started to put on those masks again. I started to condemn myself again. And I put myself right back in to the cage that He had set me free from. Except the door was open. Jesus was the door. His grace was the door. I was too busy condemning myself and making myself feel guilty to notice.

I am the Door; anyone who enters in through Me will be saved (will live). He will come in and he will go out [freely], and will find pasture. {John 10:9}

I put expectations on myself and took on expectations that others put on me, that kept me in that cage.
Unrealistic expectations of:
Being a wife
Being a mother
Being a daughter
Being a sister
Being a friend
Being a  homeschooler
Being a blogger
Being a Christian
Being on social media.

I want to let you in on a secret…He really is all you need!
We Need A Grace Gaze
Enjoy God…
Enjoy Abundance…
Enjoy Life…
Enjoy others
We strive. We sweat great drops of religious sweat. We puff and fidget. And we eventually tire of our hamster-like religious spin-wheel. “Ahhh, stop… I want to get off, I simply want to believe…I simply want to love…” (Grace Focus - Revival Asia blog)

The guilt I put on myself was immense. It kept me in that cage.
I started to strive again.
I want to simply believe....I simply want to love.

I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will release you from captivity and gather you from all the nations and all the places to which I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I caused you to be carried away captive.  {Jeremiah  29:14}
I am back. Back at the place where I was first  held captive. When I became aware, all I had to do is walk out of that cage again. That's the amazing thing about His gift of grace. I just walked out again, into that freedom I had experienced before. Into the wide open space. Into the pasture.

And it feels good.

Still taking lessons from the King,


  1. Thank you. Me too.
    and I love your writing, and the real you.
    God knew what He was doing when he made us, didn't He?

    1. He sure did Pam!
      I am enjoying not heaping guilt on myself like I usually do.

  2. Healing is a work in progress isn't it! but for the grace of God where would we be! :)

    1. You are so right! Healing is a work in progress. So thankful for His grace xo

  3. you always manage to challenge me in some way - I so appreciate it.
    God is amazing isn't He? A constant, never changing presence - no matter what we're going through. To be able to step back into that time and time again is so incredible - I just have to remember to lock the cage that I leave and throw away the key.
    However... sometimes it's a new cage that locks me up! I love though that whenever I'm inside that, He is there too.

    1. Ah Gail! We are both on similar journeys. God sure is amazing. So glad He is constant when I can be all over the place. It is incredible to step back into His grace time and time again. And yes, I love that He is always there-always! xo

  4. This is great, just what I needed to hear. Thank you:)

    1. So glad this is what you needed to read today BEx. Love it when God does that xo


Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my lessons!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

Jo Princess Warrior xo