Friday, 27 April 2012

Walking out of the cage of condemnation

photo source

I had a real breakthrough in healing my soul a few years ago on my journey. I started to realise that although I was born again, I was still living under condemnation. This realisation freed me from the cage my soul was in.The condemnation kept me captive in a cage, of my own doing. Christ had died for my sins and there is no condemnation in Christ. But, I weighed myself down with my own condemnation. Condemnation was also the root of my depression that I experienced after the birth of my second son.


2 years ago, God stripped me back. I wrote in my blog post, It's Good To Be 'Me Again':
I had come to a point in my life where I looked good with all these other layers and decorative bits from other people's personalities that I had copied. But it just wasn't me.The masquearde was weighing heavy. It was a huge burden to carry. I didn't even know who I was anymore.

About 18 months ago I started to embrace ME - with all my flaws and idiosyncrasies. I declared to the world - This is me! And peeled off the many masks I had been wearing.  It was an exciting time of discovery just who I was. Up to that point, I had acted how others expected me to act or how I thought I should act. But it was unnatural and exhausting not be ME. I found freedom in being who He had made me to be.

Slowly ever so slowly, in fact so slowly, I hadn't even noticed. I started to put on those masks again. I started to condemn myself again. And I put myself right back in to the cage that He had set me free from. Except the door was open. Jesus was the door. His grace was the door. I was too busy condemning myself and making myself feel guilty to notice.

I am the Door; anyone who enters in through Me will be saved (will live). He will come in and he will go out [freely], and will find pasture. {John 10:9}

I put expectations on myself and took on expectations that others put on me, that kept me in that cage.
Unrealistic expectations of:
Being a wife
Being a mother
Being a daughter
Being a sister
Being a friend
Being a  homeschooler
Being a blogger
Being a Christian
Being on social media.

I want to let you in on a secret…He really is all you need!
We Need A Grace Gaze
Simplify…
Rest…
Enjoy God…
Enjoy Abundance…
Enjoy Life…
Enjoy others
We strive. We sweat great drops of religious sweat. We puff and fidget. And we eventually tire of our hamster-like religious spin-wheel. “Ahhh, stop… I want to get off, I simply want to believe…I simply want to love…” (Grace Focus - Revival Asia blog)

The guilt I put on myself was immense. It kept me in that cage.
I started to strive again.
I want to simply believe....I simply want to love.

I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will release you from captivity and gather you from all the nations and all the places to which I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I caused you to be carried away captive.  {Jeremiah  29:14}
I am back. Back at the place where I was first  held captive. When I became aware, all I had to do is walk out of that cage again. That's the amazing thing about His gift of grace. I just walked out again, into that freedom I had experienced before. Into the wide open space. Into the pasture.

And it feels good.


Still taking lessons from the King,





8 comments:

  1. Thank you. Me too.
    and I love your writing, and the real you.
    God knew what He was doing when he made us, didn't He?

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    1. He sure did Pam!
      I am enjoying not heaping guilt on myself like I usually do.
      xo

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  2. Healing is a work in progress isn't it! but for the grace of God where would we be! :)

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    1. You are so right! Healing is a work in progress. So thankful for His grace xo

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  3. you always manage to challenge me in some way - I so appreciate it.
    God is amazing isn't He? A constant, never changing presence - no matter what we're going through. To be able to step back into that time and time again is so incredible - I just have to remember to lock the cage that I leave and throw away the key.
    However... sometimes it's a new cage that locks me up! I love though that whenever I'm inside that, He is there too.

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    Replies
    1. Ah Gail! We are both on similar journeys. God sure is amazing. So glad He is constant when I can be all over the place. It is incredible to step back into His grace time and time again. And yes, I love that He is always there-always! xo

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  4. This is great, just what I needed to hear. Thank you:)

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    Replies
    1. So glad this is what you needed to read today BEx. Love it when God does that xo

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my lessons!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

Love,
Jo Princess Warrior xo