Normal is so boring - combating homeschooling burnout

Leader Boy Warrior

I am lying in bed typing this on my laptop. It is 9.30am and I can hear the boy warriors downstairs playing with the puppies. Leader Boy Warrior helps me out in the morning by getting breakfast for Fearless Boy Warrior, so at least I know they are fed. Courageous Boy Warrior has just started getting his own breakfast in the mornings too, so  I feel like I have turned a corner. After 8 and a half years of constantly meeting the demands of my children as soon as my feet touch the floor in the morning, I can finally indulge in lying in bed a little longer. Today I am staying in bed a little longer than usual. I am exhausted. My body refuses to co-operate and I don't feel guilty one little bit.

Lately I have been fantasising about a life without homeschooling. A life where I drop the boys off to school in the morning, wave them goodbye and maybe meet a girlfriend for a coffee before returning home to my quiet house. I have been dreaming of being able to keep a room that I have just tidied clean for more than an hour. I have been dreaming of hours to focus on my writing and maybe write a book. I have been dreaming of a normal life.

Ever since I was a little girl I have always felt that I would do something special. I felt that I would stand out from others, anything but normal. Normal was boring. When my husband and I first decided to start our journey of homeschooling, I was filled with excitement and enthusiasm. I was filled with purpose and loved learning daily about what lay ahead for me. I knew that to get through this I would have to rely on Him, and I did. I loved the fact that our family would not be normal and that we were going against the flow. Such was the rebel in me.

Courageous Boy Warrior

3 years ago when I embarked on my homeschooling journey, I wasn't concerned about academics as I was so much character. Somewhere along the journey, my focus shifted. I became concerned with how well the boys were doing compared to their at school peers. Instead of the laid-back approach I began with, my homeschooling style had morphed into school at home - not homeschooling. Instead of 3 days a week, we began schooling 5 days a week. I became concerned that they weren't having enough social opportunities. I became concerned about many things that in the big scheme of things, didn't really matter. The honeymoon was over, and I had lost my joy in homeschooling.

It isn't homeschooling that is exhausting me, it is the way I was doing homeschool that is the problem. Last night I had a mini-meltdown and cried to my husband, saying, 'I'm just not coping. I can't do this!' And then I had a pity party about how other people have family support and how I had none, zip, nada,.  After our discussion we decided that sending the boys to school wasn't the solution and we we tossed around some ideas to make homeschooling work for us. My husband is an amazing support person to me. I couldn't do this without his help.

I googled, "encouragement for tired homeschool mum" and I came across these two articles which really spoke to me.
Keeping the home in homeschool
Beating the homeschool blues (instead of singing them)

Here's me thinking aloud now - but this is what I plan to do. Instead of quitting and throwing my hands up the air, (which is my usual reaction to things that are too hard), I am going to change what I'm doing. Profound I know! I need to get back to basics. I am going to cut back to 3 days a week of school work, relax more, laugh more and enjoy our homeschooling journey more. I am going to cut out those things in my life that may be taking energy away and adding to my stress. I am going to stay home more and not feel pressured to race around from here to there as is the culture of our society. I am going to be anything but normal.

Fearless Boy Warrior

Instead of saying 'I can't do this', I will change my speech to 'how can we make this work'. I am going to remind myself why I started homeschooling and beat this rough patch that I am going through. I am going to rest more and worry less about what other people expect of me. I will only concern myself with what He expects from me in this season.

The season of motherhood really is short in the whole scheme of my lifespan. It is only around 20 years and then they leave the nest. Just like that, their childhood will be over, and they will gone for good (well that's the plan anyway!)  The things like writing a book that I dream of doing can always wait. There is no urgency. But those moments that I may miss by being a frazzled, stressed mother will not wait. Once they are gone I can never get them back again. It is counter culture in our society to put your children first. It is the culture to put yourself first. But who wants to be normal? Normal is so boring.

Homeschooling is a marathon journey. It is a journey of endurance.  I was reminded of this today when I read Em's blog post 'Swim'. I would do well to take Stacey's advice in her post on Stress Free Homeschooling. Maybe it's just the time of the year when we are all a little bit weary. I don't know. There are a lot of people in my world right now (not just homeschoolers) that are tired and have had enough and feel like throwing in the towel.

"And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap [a harvest of blessing], if we do not loosen and relax our courage and give up." {Galatians 6:9} --------------->  [Thanks Em!]

I love that Paul's words remind me that the things that I am doing now will reap a harvest in the appointed season. In this instant gratification society that we live in, we need to be be reminded of delayed gratification.

Here's to not being normal.


Still taking lessons from the King,