Friday, 20 May 2011

Oh boys......Mummy's home!



At the beginning of May, I decided to deactivate my Facebook account and on Wednesday decided to unplug from Twitter for the remainder of the month.
I got caught by 2 of my friends on twitter today, Michelle and Stacey - uh oh! Um, ma...but in my defense, I was only asking people to vote for my blog to be in the Top 25 Circle of Moms blogs in the category of  'Faith.' So ahem, about that.....any chance you could click on the pretty button below and vote for me? You can vote once a day right up until the 8th June 2011. Thanks!


Now what was I saying? Oh yes, that's right......


That afternoon, inspired by Widge deleting her Facebook account altogether, I decided to do the same. Not deactivate the account, with the option of coming back on, but delete it entirely.

When I told my boys that I had decided to delete my Facebook account, the news was met with shrieks of joy. They even came and watched me do it on the computer screen. They yelled out with great enthusiasm:

"Yeah! Die Facebook." (They are boys, remember)

"Woohoo! Facebook is dead!"

"Let's have a party and celebrate."

"Let's have a Facebook funeral."


And so..........we did!



Leader Boy Warrior made a sign.........


That's a thumbs down above the word 'Facebook'.....

And we grabbed some lollies.......

Played party games.......
And celebrated Mummy's return to reality again......
 
My friend Susan shared back in 2007 how she struggled with being an emotionally absent parent when she spent time on online forums.
As a homeschool mum I had given up any notion of a career outside the home. I did this joyously and because I wanted to. I didn’t want to miss the everyday happenings of my children…I didn’t want to be absent…but would you believe that a Christian homeschooling mum who dearly loves her children struggled with this very issue?

It got to the point where I was hurrying through lessons…or when I was reading aloud my mind wasn’t really on the book. I was simply going through the motions of homeschooling and parenting. The lights were on but no one was home. I was physically present but emotionally absent from my home and the lives of those most precious to me.
This post resonated with me and I realised that as I was reading the post, Susan was describing me. She posted this week on 'Why I am on Facebook'. This part of the post hit me:
Permissible… but beneficial?


Blogging is great and there are loads of benefits but it isn’t always the right time in one’s life to get into blogging. Same with online forums… or FB. This chapter of my life sees me with older children so life is much different than when the children were younger. Honestly, I don’t know how some mums of younger children do it! I used to get sucked into forums- they were like a black hole that just gnawing away at my personal time. I became a mum where the *lights were on but no one was home*. You can read about it here… If this sounds like you, let me encourage you to stop your online activity and ask the Lord to renew your heart. He can and He will. I know
 I know this is the right decision for me and my family at this time. I notified by sms my 'Facebook hating husband', who is in another state right now, like this:

I did it honey!!!!!!!!!!!I permanently deleted my Facebook account. Are you proud of me?

And he responded:

Wow honey...that's a big step. I am very proud of you. Love you lots.

This made me smile....a lot! I have a feeling things are going to be a lot different around here without Facebook.

Children are only little once. I wonder how much I have missed out on by being on Facebook, worrying about Facebook or thinking about what my next Facebook status will be? One thing I know for sure is - I have a lot of catching up to do with my boys, and I don't want to miss a thing!

Once I made the decision to delete my Facebook account I immediately felt a sense of freedom. I felt lighter. It was like a weight had lifted. It was almost like my eyes were opened once more to what really matters. Something just clicked. No more present-absent mother. I want to be in the moment. I felt a renewed passion for the season I am in at the moment of a homeschooling mother of young boys. I felt a renewed passion for my blog. I felt a renewed passion for being a more attentive wife. Yes, things are going to be very different around here.

No longer did I see my boys as interruptions to my agenda....but I starting seeing them again as the precious gifts that God gave to me. 


I said to the boys, "Will you forgive Mummy for wasting time on that silly old Facebook instead of spending time with you?" The response was unanimously, "Yes!" and we jumped around in excitement at the thought of Facebook being dead in our house.

Still taking lessons from the King,




To read the rest of the story:
Goodbye Facebook (29 April, 2011)
Unplugging from Social Media (18 May, 2011)

20 comments:

  1. I love how your boys made a party of the end of Facebook! You are so right...they are only little once. The time goes by so fast, Jo. I cannot believe that my children are already 23 and 25! You are wise, and strong. Congratulations to you! Happy End of Facebook Day! (Do I sense an annual celebration coming up?)

    Blessings, Joan

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was wondering about your tweet on twitter today. Twitter will miss you – clearly your boys will not - they'll get so much more of you. I'm not even on Facebook – well I am but I don't use it.

    And I heart this so much Jo, "no longer did I see my boys as interruptions to my agenda… But I started seeing them again as the precious gifts that God gave me". God bless and keep you and all of yours. Just keep blogging, I heart your words.

    ReplyDelete
  3. YAY! YAY! YAY!!!!
    Dearest Jo, I'm soooo proud of you!!!! YOu did it GIRL!!! You let go of the thing that the enemey was sucking you in to believing that there was your acceptance, your feel good place!!! Now that your eyes are open you truly are FREE!!!! God is all of that, your family is what matters, Oh Jo HE will work mighty things in your life with this new release, and your boys, your precious gifts from GOd!!! A party was certainly such a grand idea!!! I love it!!!
    Really I'm sooooo happy for you sweet lady, you rock cause your God's precious Princess!!! Bring on these new days!!!!! YAY! YAY! YAY!!
    Smiles and hugs SHarnee :)
    p.s I like Joan's idea of a annual celebration!! COOL! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this! I can imagine the wildness that was in your house at the time too! Wahoo! I've found J and I becoming closer again now that I'm not on my phone constantly at night when we're together. She loves it too!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have been really challenged by your recent unplugging and although I haven't gone to the point of unplugging myself I have set myself soem boundaries I didn't have before and have already noticed that I am so much more present in the moment with my kids and that the world doesn't end if I miss out on what went on in the facebook world today!! Am going to do a major cull of my friends list as well to keep it all more simple. Thank you :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Totally proud of you! I think that bud in you is going to blossom to full flourishing beauty! I loved the boys party what a reaction! Love you ! See you in real life soon! I am glad I get to see your for real regularly xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. You go girl! Princess Warrior Power! Children are so forgiving, aren't they? But we shouldn't take advatange of that... because even though they are forgiving, the words we say or don't say, the things we do will leave a mark on them- a beauty spot or a scar.

    Years ago I wondered aloud (on my blog and forums) where the hs mothers of teens go? There never seems to be many of them around. The online homeschool world is brimming with mums of littlies. Now I know where they go - they go offline so that they can be *with* their family. The teen years can really wake one up to the fact that whilst the days may seem to drag on, the years are flying by.

    Hahaa, I can't think of anything witty or inspiring to post on my statuses or twitter- which is probably why I post quotes and scriptures, lol.

    God bless you sister...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi :D You don't know me, but I found your blog a while back, and have been silently reading along.....
    Thought provoking, and challenging, post....
    I'm not planning to unplug Facebook (easiest way to connect with overseas friends) but I know the tension between a good use of time on there and a waste of time... it's so easy to go from one to the other! (and don't get me started about the games.....)
    I have had a browse through some of your older posts - thank you for sharing your journey.
    Now, since it's morning, and school time... I should get off the computer... :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. Go, JO!!! I hear you 100%. I have completely deleted my Facebook more than once. Since moving to Australia from the US I find it the best way to keep in contact with loved ones...but if God requires, I will sacrifice it again!

    I had to smile at your precious boys...one is in his pajamas? My 8 yo DD is still in hers as well. One of the perks of homeschooling!

    God bless you bunches!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi beautiful Jo! I miss your smiling face on FB but I'd rather visit your mind on this blog.Your pics of you & the boys having fun & playing games reminded me of the good ol' days I had with my boys when they were that age.They grow up so fast & having turned off FB, I AGREE YOU HAVE MADE THE BEST CHOICE SISTER!!I mean for the boys to throw a farewell party to FB & a welcoming party for the mum, that's the bestest thing that one could have!
    Keep smiling beautiful friend, cause I know I am for your sake right now!
    love you....xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Jo Princess Warrior. My name is Jodi and I came across your blog as I was checking out the top 25 Mommy blogs of Faith.
    Kudos to you for the step you have taken. Those are the kinds of things we don't see the true benefits of on this side of heaven. So I pray blessings on you and your family as you embrace this new adventure.
    There might be rough days when you are tempted or lured into something else - the Evil One never lets us go that easy. So I ask God to uphold you during those times and strengthen your love for Him and for your family.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I had to laugh... as I finished your post - it is so true and I love the step you've taken so my first response was to 'like' it. Then I realised how funny this was - I was 'liking' a post all about the wastefulness of the very same 'like' button! LOL. Hope you can enjoy the chuckle with me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great post. I felt that FB had that same pull on me the first year I was on it. Reconnecting with people I grew up with was amazing - still is. But I definitely saw the need for boundaries for me. I started by setting a timer. I would give myself 30 minutes of FB time a day. At first, it wasn't enough. But after a while, I got bored with FB within 5 minutes. Now I just use it to check it like I do e-mail.

    And I love your post on going caffeine free. I totally get it. May I post the first few lines of your article on my blog with a link to the rest of your article? I think your story and challenge needs to be heard - I've dropped caffeine recently too. What a difference it makes!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi,
    I was thinking of you this morning... so thought I'd pop in and say *hi*.

    *Hi*

    :)

    Have a great and godly day!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Can't believe how excited your kids were - that says it all, doesn't it?! My hubby was so thrilled when I deactivated my FB account this week. It truly is a case of "once I was blind, now I can see". God is truly doing a work in both of us hey Jo!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your FB journey was shared with me by my friend over at http://thefarriswheel.blogspot.com/ Though not a mom, I have found my self emotionally absent from my own life due to FB and related things. I blogged just a couple weeks ago about my plan to hit DELETE in at the end of the month. http://theelizabethw.blogspot.com/2011/07/backwards-forwards.html I canNOT wait to get rid of it! (I gave it some time so I could connect with the handful of people who I had no other means of contact.)
    Thank you so much for sharing your own thoughts and experience! It was like you were in my head :-)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my lessons!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

Love,
Jo Princess Warrior xo