Thursday, 10 March 2011

Hot without Heels

I was so excited! I was invited to the launch of “Indulge” eMagazine. This night would give me an opportunity to have a break from the everyday tasks involved with parenting 3 boys, 7 years and under.  It would be a night to converse with other adults without little people demanding my attention. It would give me an opportunity to dress up a little bit more than I usually would.

I decided to wear a little black dress, and accessorise with a red flower in my hair and thought that heels would complete the glamous outfit. I hadn’t worn heels for 6 years since the birth of my second child, due to lower back problems. I felt very beautiful after I had styled my hair and applied makeup. I was very happy with the reflection I saw in the mirror.
I admired my footwear. I was ‘hot with heels.’
I had a wonderful evening chatting with some very inspiring people at the launch. It was a celebration of dreams realised for the “Indulge” team and I was so honoured to be a part of it. The guests and I enjoyed great food, lovely wine and delightful conversations.
I wore those heels for 3 hours and paid for it for 3 weeks.

Due to having 3 caesarean sections, I experience lower back pain. Getting your abdominal muscles sliced through multiple times will do that. The pain in my lower back as a result of wearing the heels was excruciating. I needed to take painkillers to get through each day. My very wise friend however, wore thongs (flip-flops) discretely hidden under her long skirt and still looked glamorous. Suffice to say, my friend didn’t suffer back pain as a result of her footwear. I vowed never to wear heels again. It wasn’t worth the pain I was experiencing. I declared that my thong (flip-flop) wearing friend and I were ‘hot without heels.’ 
I shared on my facebook status that I had worn heels for 3 hours and have now had 3 weeks of pain. I received comments back from some saying, “beauty is pain.” I know it was all in fun. But how many of us actually believe this. Is beauty really pain? Do we really have to pluck and wax and wear heels to be beautiful? The answer is “no!”

For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb.

I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.

My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].

Psalm 139:13-15 (Amplified)
We have been knitted together by our Creator. The word knit means ‘To form (yarn or thread) into fabric by intertwining'[1] When you create something by hand knitting, each piece is unique. No two pieces are the same. Because of the time and effort put in to create an item, you become attached to it. It becomes special to you and you marvel at its beauty. The same is true of our Creator.

When you purchase a handmade item, it usually comes with a tag informing the customer that each piece:
• Has individual markings that are not flaws, but in fact add to the beauty of the item

• Original

• Of greater value because it is uniqueness
The same is true of how our Creator views us.

We have been intricately wrought by our Creator. The word wrought means ‘put together; created or made delicately or elaborately.[2] In this society we believe the lie that we must look like the girl in the magazine or video clip to be considered beautiful. But the truth is..... we are already beautiful. Make up, grooming, clothing and shoes enhance our beauty, but it isn’t real raw beauty. We are beautiful without all of those things.

Something that is handmade has its own unique beauty about it. The physical attributes, gifts and our personalities make us all beautiful in His eyes. Parents look at their children and are in awe of their beauty. They see the whole package- their physical attributes, their gifts and their personalities and see this as beautiful. The same is true of our Creator.

I have a redness on my chin that is a genetic facial feature that indicates I belong to my family. My sisters have the same distinguishing feature .It is not a flaw, but a unique marking distinguishing me as a member of my family, connecting me with my ancestors, who share the same unique marking.

How beautiful you are my darling! Oh, how beautiful!

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. -Song of Solomon 4:1a, 7
Every characteristic and mark on our body was put there by our Creator. These marks are not flaws, but unique markings. If we don’t look like society’s marred image of beauty are we still beautiful? Absolutely. Every unique marking was put there by your Creator. Large ears? Unique marking. Fair freckly skin? Unique marking. Short height? Unique marking. Uncontrollable frizzy hair? Unique marking.

I love dressing up as much as the next girl, but that is not what makes me beautiful. When I take away the hair, the makeup, the clothes, the accessories and heels. I am still beautiful. Knowing that He finds me beautiful changed everything. No longer do I measure my beauty by society’s standards. I know that He thinks I’m beautiful, and that reassurance is all I need. Stop striving to live up to the society’s standard of beauty and realise that you are already beautiful! Just ask Him, He’ll tell you. He told me, and I now know that I am ‘hot without heels.’

Still taking lessons from the King,

{This article was featured in the FREE e-magazine 'Indulge',
March Editon by the I luv Those Shoes Project.}

[1] [2]


  1. girl, I too have had 3 c-sections and I've tried heels three separate times in recent weeks. FORGET IT. Never gonna happen again!!!!! Beauty IS NOT pain. LOL
    Brandi Clements

  2. Unique Markings! I never looked at my "flaws" that way before. I now understand that He has marked me for life because He loves me to death!

  3. That sounds like a wonderful evening tarnished by pain. I've had 2 c-sections so not quite back pain status here but I feel for you. I've just bought some lovely black pumps with a very feminine see through bit. They are so comfortable. Please don't do that again. I once walked all around Paris one evening in the highest heels and it is not like me at all but I reverted to taking them off and (shock horror) walking around Paris bare foot to avoid the agony. Heels are awful. Find some lovely pumps. take care, Catherine


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Jo Princess Warrior xo