I have read Psalm 40 before, even sung songs with the words of the psalm as lyrics. (Remember 'Jesus, Lover of my Soul' by Hillsong?) But this week I read it and saw it in a whole new light. When I have read it in the past, I read it as being taken out darkness and into His light. I read it as the experience of being born again into my new nature of Christ.1-3 I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
to make sure I wouldn't slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
a praise-song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
they enter the mystery,
abandoning themselves to God.
4-5 Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God,
turn your backs on the world's "sure thing,"
ignore what the world worships;
The world's a huge stockpile
of God-wonders and God-thoughts.
Nothing and no one
comes close to you!
I start talking about you, telling what I know,
and quickly run out of words.
Neither numbers nor words
account for you.
6 Doing something for you, bringing something to you—
that's not what you're after.
Being religious, acting pious—
that's not what you're asking for.
You've opened my ears
so I can listen.
7-8 So I answered, "I'm coming.
I read in your letter what you wrote about me,
And I'm coming to the party
you're throwing for me."
That's when God's Word entered my life,
became part of my very being.
9-10 I've preached you to the whole congregation,
I've kept back nothing, God—you know that.
I didn't keep the news of your ways
a secret, didn't keep it to myself.
I told it all, how dependable you are, how thorough.
I didn't hold back pieces of love and truth
For myself alone. I told it all,
let the congregation know the whole story.
11-12 Now God, don't hold out on me,
don't hold back your passion.
Your love and truth
are all that keeps me together.
When troubles ganged up on me,
a mob of sins past counting,
I was so swamped by guilt
I couldn't see my way clear.
More guilt in my heart than hair on my head,
so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out.
13-15 Soften up, God, and intervene;
hurry and get me some help,
So those who are trying to kidnap my soul
will be embarrassed and lose face,
So anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable
will be heckled and disgraced,
So those who pray for my ruin
will be booed and jeered without mercy.
16-17 But all who are hunting for you—
oh, let them sing and be happy.Let those who know what you're all about
tell the world you're great and not quitting.
And me? I'm a mess. I'm nothing and have nothing:
make something of me.
You can do it; you've got what it takes—
but God, don't put it off. (Psalm 40, The Message)
As I read it in The Message translation this week, it was as David had looked into my heart and penned what was there. Incredible. The psalm speaks of being taken out of a ditch and being pulled from deep mud. That was exactly how I felt when I was going through the depression. David goes on to say "More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God." That's how I feel now as I learn and understand about His Grace and that he is madly, truly and deeply in love with me. I have entered what was a mystery to me before - His Grace, and I abandon myself to Him.
I especially love verses 6-8. For years I practiced religious acts, bringing them to Him hoping that He would love and accept me - not knowing that He already did love me with all His heart. He truly has opened my ears to listen, and I hear His voice with much more clarity. I realised by reading His letter to me (His Word) that He loved me with a never giving up, never stopping, kind of love and I came to the party He was throwing for me. Oh how I relate to David's words,"That's when God's Word entered my life, became part of my very being." His Word has opened up to me like never before and has become part of my being.
How David ends the psalm is how I feel right now in my life: "And me? I'm a mess. I'm nothing and have nothing: make something of me. You can do it; you've got what it takes—but God, don't put it off." That is the cry of my heart. I'm OK that I'm a mess. I have spent too many years trying to look good, sound good and be good. Now, I am happy that I am nothing, so that He can make something of me.
Still taking lessons from the King,