Monday, 1 February 2010

A hard lesson learned

~Courageous Boy Warrior, Leader Boy Warrior & Cookie Boy Warrior in their knight outfits~

I am at the end of a really hard week. I sent Leader Boy Warrior to school, thinking that I had heard from God on the matter. My heart was in the right place. I wanted to do the will of God. But how I came to make the decision was not full of wisdom.

They say the best way to learn is to make your own mistakes. Well, I'm big enough to admit it - I've made a mistake. In my zeal to hear from God and do the best for my family, I unknowlingly (believing that it was confirmation from God) left a major family decison up to chance.

You see, I took on the incredibly huge burden of making a decison whether to continue homeschooling or send Leader Boy Warrior to school this year. The truth is, it wasn't mine to make alone and was too significant decison for one parent to make. I had thought that I sensed God prompting me to send Leader Boy Warrior to school, and I looked for confirmation of my decison. Now, I have learned in the past to let peace reign in your heart when making a decison. I subscribe to the view, 'When in doubt - don't.' The problem is, this time I didn't stick to the rule.

The truth is, I thought that I was doing the right thing. You can read about how I came to the descion here. Really, my final decison was reduced to nothing more than a tossing of a coin - heads, I homeschool, tails, I send him to school. In my desire to hear from God and in all the confusion, instead of letting the peace of God reign, I looked for signs. When all I had to do was ask myself "Is my spirit filled with peace by this decison?"

Philippians 4:7 (New Century Version)

And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.


After a horrific week of sleepless nights, crying myself to sleep and multiple times of bursting into tears throughout the day, I realised that I had no peace about the decison. Being the start of a school year, our Pastor this morning asked all the children to come up the front and the children's workers so we could all pray for them. Emotion got the better of me and I was sobbing so uncontrolably that I had to walk out of church. With all the movement of kids moving up the front, this was easy to do unoticed.

Once outside, I opened my bible to psalms to look for comfort. One woman noticed me and came to see if I was OK. After explaining to her what I was feeling, she offered me Godly wisdom, suggesting that this is a decison to be made by both parents. After church, I rang a friend who offered me the same counsel, and suggested that I sit down with Mighty Prince Warrior to make the decison.

So that is what I did. We sat down with a paper and pen and wrote down our goals as parents for our children. And then we wrote down advantages and disadvantages for us as a family for both homeschooling and schooling. When it was down in black and white, it became apparent to us that the scales weighed heavily towards homeschooling. We both learned a valuable lesson in our parenting and in our marriage. We need to be on the same page going in the same direction. And, although I am in the pratical sense taking care of the children the majority of the time, major decisons like this have to made by both of us. I apologised for making such an unwise decision for our family and Mighty Prince Warrior apologised for allowing me to. We agreed to always work together in the future on decison making when it comes to our family. Peace came.

So now I have the task of informing the school that we no longer want Leader Boy Warrior enrolled, after attending the school for only 3 days. One which I am not looking forward to, but I guess when you make mistakes there are consequences. (Not to mention the financial consequence of the expense of uniforms that we have paid for.) I have learned the hard way, but I emerge from the whole experience a little wiser. God has given us His peace as a guide in our decison making.  And as born-again believers, we  also have the heart and mind of Christ. (Philippians 4:7 )

Still taking lessons from the King,






9 comments:

  1. oh Jo so sorry that you've had such a hard week but glad that you have found that peace now. I went through all that during the holidays but we never actually got to the part where I took him to school and I am so glad I didn't cause I know now it really wasn't right for him. We are starting school today nice and slsowly and I am looking forward to it. All the best for dealing with the school!!!!!

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  2. Amen Jo. I could feel this weighing on my heart with you and this situation and I am so thankful that it has been resolved...how it should be! I have tears because I know this is what He wanted. xo

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  3. I am sorry for the hard week, but glad that you found peace. What good news. I have been in your shoes so many times. Thanks for sharing. Praying for you a great week to come.

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  4. I LOVE this, Jo.

    What I love is that once you turned on the wrong road you realized it and went back to the road that was right for you. What I love is that grace covers everything, even our mistakes. What I love is that mistakes become our teachers... you say yourself that you have learned a valuable lesson.

    I love that your heart is tender to the voice of your God... He kept after you until you knew you had stepped on a road He had not chosen for you. You listened, you turned to follow.

    Absolutely beautiful, my friend!

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  5. I had a similar experience recently...well it actually started over 4 years ago. I am an education major with two semesters left. I have caused a lot of undue stress to my family, because I was sure that God was opening doors for me to go back to school. Unlike you, I ignored the initial warnings. Long story short: I gave up my scholarship and position at the University of New Orleans. I now have the freedom to pursue my first loves(God & Family). The past couple of months have been so peaceful. My husband hasn't had to pick me up and put me in bed at 4 am, because I was typing a term paper and sobbing uncontrollably. My daughter hasn't had any more meltdowns (i.e. begging me to be just her mommy again). I actually have time to plan my sunday school lessons, sing, and cook wholesome meals again. I'm glad it didn't take you 4 ears to realize your error. I am also glad that we serve a patient and loving God, especially when we try to claim that our mistakes are his will.
    P.S. You have a beautiful blog.
    ~Miss Riya

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  6. Hey Jo...it takes courage to make a stand for what God is calling us to do, but he is with us all the way and gives us what we need each and every day!

    Looking forward to reading more posts on fabulous school days with your blessed children!

    xxx

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  7. I so get this. I've been homeschooling for 13 years now (18 if you think of it like homeschooling starts at birth.) There are still times I want to rush to the nearest school and enroll them. But peace doesn't come. And my husband keeps pointing me back to this calling that I KNOW came from HIM, but sometimes forget what a privilege it is.

    Your knights are absolutely adorable. I have four--one female and three males . . . Miss the days they played dress-up. Not that I would go backwards. :O)

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  8. You know, I can think of a lot harder ways to learn a lesson than three days of misery and some wasted dollars. Before the month is over you'll probably all forget the negative impact and be living in the freshly reviewed truth of the peace of God. Our Father is so amazingly faithful in the way he won't allow us to stray when our hearts are truly seeking Him. So pleased for you!

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  9. What a great photo of your little guys. I too am often looking for signs that show me what God wants me to do...and sometimes he does give confirmation through people or things...but other times I just need to really let peace be the deciding factor. I love that you and your husband sat and really talked about it. Awesome!

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my lessons!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

Love,
Jo Princess Warrior xo