~A princess warrior cannot be double-minded~
When I was struggling with the decison of whether or not I should send Leader Boy Warrior to school or homeschool recently, I was double minded. I felt like I was torn and was swaying to and fro with my decision. One day I was homeschooling, the next I was sending him to school.
I had indeed sort God's wisdom on the subject when I first thought about homeschooling over 18 months ago, and He gave me His wisdom generously, just as He promises to do. He whispered, "I want you to disciple your 3 Boy Warriors by homeschooling them." That was the word I received.
But I wavered, I was like an unsettled wave. James speaks of this in Chapter 1:
James 1:6-8 (New Living Translation)
6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
I certainly felt like I was an unsettled wave. You see, I started listening to the world and not God, and that is where the trouble began. Instead of trusting Him and putting my faith in Him and His word for our family, I listened to comments like this:
"Are you really going to homeschool all through high school? Really?"
"The boys won't know how to cope in scocial situations if they don't learn to handle them in a school yard."
"What about socialisation?"
"How do you do it? Don't you ever get a break form the kids? I could never do that."
"You know, your kids will all grow up one day and you have to work on your relationship with your husband more. If you just focus on the kids, you'll grow apart."
"Don't you have a life?"
"You know, you have to let them go eventually."
Are you qualified?"
I'm sure if you are a homeschooling mum, you would have heard a number of these, a number of times before. I guess I got tired of justifying our decision to homeschool as a family to everyone. My faith wavered and I tossed around like an unsettled wave. As it says in
James 1:7-8 (New Century Version)
7-8 Such doubters are thinking two different things at the same time, and they cannot decide about anything they do. They should not think they will receive anything from the Lord.
I was hindering myself from receiving anything from the Lord, because I was thinking two different things at the same time. It wasn't until I made a whole big mess of things and rang my friend sobbing for advice that I realised I was being double-minded. In gentleness and love, she spoke the truth to me. I must admit, when she first told me I was double-minded -it hurt, but deep down I knew it was the truth. Thank God that she was bold enough and loved me and my family enough to tell me the truth. Proverbs speaks of such a friend in Proverbs 27:6 - Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. During the course of me being tossed here and fro, I found many people offering 'kisses' to make me feel better, but only one friend who dared to 'wound' me and tell me the truth, and for that I am so grateful.
So now instead of being double-minded, I am going to be single-minded in my homeschooling. Instead of stammering with some sort of reason why I homeschool when I am asked why I do it, I will hold my head high and tell them, "it's because that's what works best for our family". I will no longer be embarrassed and let people's opinions sway my thoughts about homeschooling. I now know that the King has called me to do a job for Him, and I will say, "As you wish" and go about the task He has asked me to do - with a single-mind.
Still taking lessons from the King,