Monday, 8 February 2010

Being double-minded

~A princess warrior cannot be double-minded~

When I was struggling with the decison of whether or not I should send Leader Boy Warrior to school or homeschool recently, I was double minded. I felt like I was torn and was swaying to and fro with my decision. One day I was homeschooling, the next I was sending him to school.

I had indeed sort God's wisdom on the subject when I first thought about homeschooling over 18 months ago, and He gave me His wisdom generously, just as He promises to do. He whispered, "I want you to disciple your 3 Boy Warriors by homeschooling them." That was the word I received.

But I wavered, I was like an unsettled wave. James speaks of this in Chapter 1:

James 1:6-8 (New Living Translation)

6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

I certainly felt like I was an unsettled wave. You see, I started listening to the world and not God, and that is where the trouble began. Instead of trusting Him and putting my faith in Him and His word for our family, I listened to comments like this:

  • "Are you really going to homeschool all through high school? Really?"

  • "The boys won't know how to cope in scocial situations if they don't learn to handle them in a school yard."

  • "What about socialisation?"

  • "How do you do it? Don't you ever get a break form the kids? I could never do that."

  • "You know, your kids will all grow up one day and you have to work on your relationship with your husband more. If you just focus on the kids, you'll grow apart."

  • "Don't you have a life?"

  • "You know, you have to let them go eventually."

  • Are you qualified?"
I'm sure if you are a homeschooling mum, you would have heard a number of these, a number of times before. I guess I got tired of justifying our decision to homeschool as a family to everyone. My faith wavered and I tossed around like an unsettled wave. As it says in

James 1:7-8 (New Century Version)

7-8 Such doubters are thinking two different things at the same time, and they cannot decide about anything they do. They should not think they will receive anything from the Lord.

I was hindering myself from receiving anything from the Lord, because I was thinking two different things at the same time. It wasn't until I made a whole big mess of things and rang my friend sobbing for advice that I realised I was being double-minded. In gentleness and love, she spoke the truth to me. I must admit, when she first told me I was double-minded -it hurt, but deep down I knew it was the truth. Thank God that she was bold enough and loved me and my family enough to tell me the truth. Proverbs speaks of such a friend in Proverbs 27:6 - Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. During the course of me being tossed here and fro, I found many people offering 'kisses' to make me feel better, but only one friend who dared to 'wound' me and tell me the truth, and for that I am so grateful.

So now instead of being double-minded, I am going to be single-minded in my homeschooling. Instead of stammering with some sort of reason why I homeschool when I am asked why I do it, I will hold my head high and tell them, "it's because that's what works best for our family". I will no longer be embarrassed and let people's opinions sway my thoughts about homeschooling. I now know that the King has called me to do a job for Him, and I will say, "As you wish" and go about the task He has asked me to do - with a single-mind.
Still taking lessons from the King,


  1. Oh my, this is great! You know the Beth Moore study I referred you onto? Well, she talks about how a true friend will wound you in that! Amazing! Love it, and you!

  2. You may have read this porm before, but if you haven't I think you'll like it.


    She came tonight as I sat alone...

    The girl I used to be...

    And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
    And questioned reproachfully:

    Have you forgotten the many plans
    And hopes I had for you?

    The great career, the splendid fame,
    all the wonderful things to do?

    Where is the mansion of stately height
    With all its gardens rare?

    The silken robes that I dreamed for you
    And the jewels in your hair?

    And as she spoke, I was very sad
    For I wanted her pleased with me...

    This slender girl from the shadowy past

    The girl that I used to be.

    So gently rising, I took her hand
    And guided her up the stairs

    Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
    Innocent, sweet, and fair.

    And I told her that these are my only gems,
    And precious they are to me;

    That silken robes is my motherhood
    Of costly simplicity.

    And my mansion of stately height is love,
    And the only career I know

    Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
    For the dear ones who come and go

    And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
    She smiled through her tears at me.

    And I saw the woman that I am now

    the girl I used to be.

    ~~ Author Unknown ~~

  3. Sorry for the typo. I meant to say, "poem".

  4. Oh yea, I've heard all those things.... funny thing was my home schooled children were more socialized than their public school friends.
    School doesn't socialize or not socialize... that comes from the family life. I've heard and answered them....

    I love how you go back to that road and find God allowing your mistakes to be your teachers... I love that!

  5. Loved this! Interesting enough, just last week another mom was asking me how our homeschooling was going and I found that I immediately fell into a stammering mode trying to justify the appearance of our unconventional style... and my Father this week has reminded me that my security is not found in my eloquence but in my obedience.

  6. Hi Jo,

    Not sure if I have commented here before - but I have been enjoying following your blog for a little while now.

    ""when I am asked why I do it, I will hold my head high and tell them, "it's because that's what works best for our family". ""

    AMEN! I have found that I usually get the most favourable response when I am happily confident in my answer. And my children have benefitted from seeing me respond in a confidently friendly manner when asked these questions - it has encouraged their own confidence in homeschooling.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my lessons!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

Jo Princess Warrior xo