Monday, 14 December 2009

But I want to do what they're doing...

~Cookie Boy Warrior with his favourite shirt on~
Check Spelling ~Nonno & Nonna celebrate 60 years of marriage with great grandchildren-
Courageous Boy Warrior and Leader Boy Warrior~

~Mighty Boy Warrior and me~

The other day, I received the latest subscription to a Christian magazine. I love my little indulgent of pouring over the pages with a coffee. The magazine is run by my old flatmate and another friend that I went to church with over a decade ago. Both amazing women in their own right.

As I read the articles, instead of feeling encouragement, I felt discouraged and depressed. The women in the articles seemed to have full and exciting lives. One was a mother, and worked full time. Another shared her story of a horrific childhood, but through the grace of God, is now a wife, mother, has a career and is instrumental in helping raise funds for an International sponsorship program for children. My old flatmate has 2 young children, a high profile role within a large church, writes and edits articles for a magazine, all while looking fabulous!

I started to despise the magazine and put it down, not wanting to see the articles that seem to scream at me, "See what these amazing woman are doing? And what are you doing? You're stuck at home with the boys all the time. What a waste! You could be doing these things too."

I pondered on this and how these woman seemed to be living much more exciting lives than me. And from there it was a downward spiral. I became cranky and irritable. My thoughts got carried away and I started to dream of a life where the boys were at school and I was doing amazing things for God with my time.

The truth is the Lord didn't call me to do any of what the other women are doing. For this season in my life, He has called me to home school my boys, and that is all. I guess, my job looks far less glamorous than the girls in the magazine. But despite this, it is what the Lord has called me to do. My selfish nature sometimes throws 'tantrums' about what God has called me to do. "I don't want to! It's not fair. Why can't I do what they're doing?" Sound familiar? This is what my children say to me at times, when I ask them to do something.

I know that I could make the choice to send my children back to school and use my time to get involved in all sorts of ministry activities. But the truth is, there would be no fruit, as it would not be what the Lord has called me to do. It would just be me seeking gratification from men and honour for myself. I would also be miserable as I would not be obeying my King, and in this, I would not experience the peace that comes from obeying Him.
I am reminded in Philippians 3:7-11
:But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
If I remain obedient to my King, I will see much fruit from the task that He has asked me to do. With homeschooling, it is a lot of hard work and most of the time, not so glamorous. But if I am obedient, I will see the fruit for years to come. The seeds that I am sowing today, will be watered by Him, and when in full bloom will bear the most amazing fruit.


Still taking lessons from the King,





9 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing. I am only just realizing that motherhood is a ministry. It is NOT glamorous most of the time:) but someone has to raise the kids! If mothers don't take the time to teach, and nurture, to listen and hug, who will?! No one! Mothers are so, so important. Even decorating the house and making it feel like home is important. You, homeschool mom and I are absolutely indespensable!

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  2. You do know that you just voiced what MANY women think, right.?!

    I've had those same thoughts and feelings. My passion growing up was to sing and write. I didn't know the Lord yet, so it would have been a terrible thing if I followed through.

    Now that I do have a relationship with Him, He is restoring my dream, but not for this particular season in my life.
    I still have those aspirations, but realize that the main thing is to be obedient to God's call on my life at this moment...(like you)to homeschool my children and be a help meet to my husband.
    Yes, I sing in church and I write on my blog (as the Lord leads). God has opened some opportunities for me to write outside my blog, and for now that's more than satisfying.

    While our work as SAH/HM's may not seem glamorous, it is glorious (glorifying God, that is). Which is the better reward?

    xoxo

    Kela

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  3. OH yes, I can relate! Not all the time though, as mostly I love being at home with the kids, just as I'm sure you do, but I HAVE MY MOMENTS!!

    Heard a great sermon recently about Jeremiah and the difficult and mostly unrewarding assignment God gave him. Wow! That man really did it hard. The thing that struck me was that we all have different assignments, and sometimes others look so much nicer than ours!

    I loved the honesty of this post,thanks for sharing.

    Melanie x

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  4. I think you are ONE amazing woman. I know your Papa God delights in you... you are following His heart.

    It's hard not to see others in their roles and not question what we are doing... I know it has been for me.

    I loved your heart shared here!

    Thanks also for your visit to my blog and your sweet words. As always you blessed me!

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  5. It is seriously cool how often we are being taught the same lesson. We must be in the same graduating class or something. :) We WILL see some amazing fruit at just the right time. As we walk in obedience, not a moment of our lives will be wasted.

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  6. I had the same experience a few weeks back. I have this burning in me to do some thing grand for the Kingdome of God. But He is showing me that I am doing just that. Even if it homeschooling, diaper changes, and cooking meals all day. I am preparing hearts and hopefully building a heritage for future genreations.

    Thanks for sharing your heart. I am glad to be a first visitor here.

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  7. I can so relate Jo. I was even at the point at the end of last year of enrolling my son in the local primary school to start this Jan (I have now chanegd my mind)cause I thought it was all too much to home school and also have a toddler and another baby on the way and when would I even get 10 seconds for me. God reminded me though inanways that this is His will for my family, and my son who has special needs finds school so hard, how could I be selfish and send him back just cause I was worried about me time??

    For me the biggest sacrifice has been my study. I was doing a university degree in community development when I feel pregnant with my 10 month old. I took some time off when she was born and was going to go back, then God called me to home schooling and so I thought I'd just cut back to 1 subject at a time, then when the new term was about to begin I disocvered I was pregnnant again and realised it is just not gonna happen right now. At first I was really upset, but then God spoke so gently to my heart that the reason I was doing community development was to help people and I don't need a piece of paper for that. Ministry opportunities have come up for me in church working with young women and the only qualification I need is to be walking with God, I realised the 'need' for the piece of paper was because I wanted something to validate that I had done somethig worthwhile, but I look at my 2 kids and feel the kicking of number 3 and think how could I think I need a piece of paper to validate that I am doing something worthwhile, I am surrounded by the most important thing in the world and my main ministry is right here whether that has value in the eyes of the world or not!!

    Anyway sorry for the long ramble. Just wanted to enocurage you that what you are doing is amazing and you will see fabulous fruit in the long run :-)

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  8. I think you are doing an awesome job! And what is done in secret will be openly rewarded by your Heavenly Father, and in fact He is already doing that in small ways. Do not despise the day of smalll beginnings........ But you are speaking for me and so many others that deeply feel what they are doing is worthless, but it holds eternal value! Keep going warrior princess and aim those handsome arrows well xx

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  9. Great post, Jo. I have had these times also. It is hard seeing our service to a family as our ministry but that it is. Having this as my focus helps me to strive for my best each day.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my lessons!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

Love,
Jo Princess Warrior xo