Courageous Boy Warrior, born 2005
Leader Boy Warrior, born 2003
Cookie Boy Warrior, Born 2007
My journey in becoming a Mummy began 7 years ago when I became pregnant with my first child, only to lose my baby at 12 weeks. The grief I felt over the child that I hadn't even met was overwhelming. I was surprised by the deep-seeded sorrow I felt. This was just a taste of what was to come when I held Leader Boy Warrior in my arms for the first time 6 years ago. No one can describe in words the emotions that you experience when you first become a parent.
When I was pregnant with Courageous Boy Warrior, I remember thinking, "My heart feels like it's going to burst with love for Leader Boy Warrior. Will I feel the same way about my new baby?" But of course, your heart expands and you feel the same love for each child.
I have been reflecting on motherhood lately and what it has taught me and here are a few lessons that I may not have learned had I not become a mother:
- It's not all about me! I need to 'grow' for the children's sake.
- Hard work can be rewarding.
- My attitude towards hard work is up to me. The job still has to be done regardless.
- I need Jesus more than ever to guide me in my task of raising my sons.
- 'Quiet time' need not be first thing in the morning. Grabbing a few quiet moments here and there can be just as effective.
- Every answer I'll ever need is in the Word.
Another lesson I have learnt is that most things are caught, not taught. This has challenged me in my own behaviour. How I react to times of crisis is how my boys will react. How I respond to sickness is how my boys will react. How I respond to my God is how the boys will also.
I don't know if I would have learned these and many other valuable lessons, had I not became a mother. And for that I am grateful. I have been stretched and overcome things that I may not have been motivated to overcome had it not been for my sons.
For example, when I was suffering from depression and came to the point that I had had enough, it was my sons that motivated me. I did not want the boys to suffer from the same mental illness that I had. It had to stop with me. I felt the responsibility to deal with it in my own life, so that my boys didn't have to deal with it in theirs. I looked into my health to give my body the best opportunity to be healed, and I also looked to Jesus to heal me. I explained to the boys that Mummy had a sickness that I needed to be healed from and let them see me pray and cry out to God.
We also embarked on a journey as a family to eat healthy, cutting out all additives and preservatives. I taught them what I read in a book by Jordan Rubin about what God tells us in the bible are the best foods for our body. I explained to them about foods that God made and foods that man made and the different effects on our bodies. Now my boys make healthy eating choices because of my example and what we have learned as a family. I am now healed of my depression, and we are continuing to eat healthy as a family. I don't think I would have come to this point had I not been a mother. Motherhood made me 'grow up'.
I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. (PHILIPPIANS 3:12-14)
I cannot turn back now. I have a responsibility to 'grow' and 'expand' in Christ for my family's sake. It's not just about me anymore. I am looking forward to being a grey haired old lady seeing the fruit of what I am sowing now, in my grandchildren. My children have made me look at the world in a whole new way. My world is bigger now. My sons have caused me to see the big picture. The closer I get to my Jesus, the more effective mother I become. And what I am doing now will be seen for generations to come.
Still taking lessons from the King,