A cousin and friends with my Boy Warriors at Courageous Boy Warrior's 4th birthday party.
Mighty Prince Warrior and Cookie Boy Warrior
To be blunt with you - where I am at is a place of fustration. I am fustrated with my health and the lack of energy that I have. I am fustrated with my lack of organisational skills. I am fustrated that there are still boxes to unpack from us moving weeks ago. I'm fustrated with myself and fustrated with life. I'm fustrated that I am feeling overwhelmed. I am fustrated that I am not coping with the housework. I am fustrated that I have no time for friends and family. I am fustrated that I used to be know as a happy-go-lucky fun-loving girl and she seems now to be but a distant memory. I'm tired,oh so tired all he time and that is fustrating too.
I have had a hormone imbalance which has possibly been present since the birth of my 3rd boy warrior, but only just been officailly diagnosed. I have terrible mood swings and no energy. After a visit to the gyno, I was told that I am peri-menapausal and his solution was to go onto the pill until menapause (which is more than likely about 15 years away.) Well, I have been on the pill in the past, and I am so not going down that path again. It sent me crazy!
So my sister suggested I look into my diet. I had seen her over the past few years make changes into her diet, avoiding anything artificial and keeping her diet as natural as possible. She is now expecting her 7th child (She has 4 little ones at home) and has more energy than I do. Did I mention that she is my older sister? Anyway, it was a path I looked into and have taken. I read Jordan Rubin's book and made drastic changes to my household's grocery shopping to eat as natural as possible. It's been 2 months since I have been eating healthy. In that time I have visited a naturopath. I am fustrated, as there doesn't appear to be any changes. I'm doing all the right things, but still no changes. I know, I know, these things take time right? But, I feel like I have had no energy now for 4 long years. I am ready to be healed.
And so, I will continue to eat healthy the foods that God designed us to eat. And the only solace I find is in the fact that God is soverign and can and will heal me in His time. When I was reading the other day, I came across this passgae and am holding on to it so tightly that some days, it's all that gets me through. It is:
Malachi 4:2 - But for you who honour me, goodness will shine on you like the sun, with healing in its rays. You will jump around like well-fed calves.
I am looking forward to jumping around like a satisfied cow, bursting with energy. A song that I have been playing over and over during this season is The Desert Song -Hillsong. Here are the lyrics:
VERSE 1:This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
VERSE 2:This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
And I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
VERSE 3:This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand
All of my life, In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
VERSE 4:This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow
I especially love the bridge. Mighty Prince Warrior gathered the Boy Warriors around me last night and asked that they lay hands on Mummy and pray for her. I was so blessed to hear the Boy Warriors prayers from their heart to our King for Mummy. They are indeed Boy Warriors, fighting the enemy in the name of Jesus.
Still taking lessons from the King,