From finding hope to giving hope - White Butterfly Reflection Service 2012

It's hard to believe that has been two years since I had first heard of The White Butterfly Project and attended a Reflection Service. Attending the Reflection Service in 2010 opened the door of my heart to healing from the grief I had experienced from the loss to miscarriage. Later on in the same year, I attended a White Butterfly Retreat where I learned to embrace my grief and loss journey.

White Butterfly Project Reflection Service 2012 - Sharing my story

Today I had the honour of sharing part of my story, along with a few others, at the White Butterfly Project Reflection  Service. 

Here is what I shared: 

10 years ago, my husband and I lost our first baby at 12 weeks gestation.

I have never held that child.

I have never gazed into that child’s eyes.

Even though I went on to have 3 more children, I still long for the baby that left this earth too early.

Lessons learned from watching a caterpillar cocoon and transform into a butterfly

 This time two years ago, we found a caterpillar and the boys and I eagerly anticipated that it would cocoon and transform into a butterfly.  Unfortunately, it turned out to be saw fly wasp larvae, and not a caterpillar. It was a great analogy for me at the time, as I had discovered I too was living as an imposter, so to speak. I was still living in my old nature, even though I had a new nature in Christ Jesus.

This year, the boys and I found some more caterpillars. After confirming that they were not saw fly wasp larvae, we put them in our homeschool room and again eagerly anticipated that the caterpillars would cocoon and transform into butterflies. This time we weren't disappointed.

Walking out of the cage of condemnation

photo source

I had a real breakthrough in healing my soul a few years ago on my journey. I started to realise that although I was born again, I was still living under condemnation. This realisation freed me from the cage my soul was in.The condemnation kept me captive in a cage, of my own doing. Christ had died for my sins and there is no condemnation in Christ. But, I weighed myself down with my own condemnation. Condemnation was also the root of my depression that I experienced after the birth of my second son.

We are all born to do great things

We are bombarded with inspirational quotes on social media and in books.
We line up to hear speakers who have done amazing things.
We pour over blogs with happy, shiny pictures and words.
We marvel at how one person can make a difference.
We are told we can do anything we want if we set our mind to it.

And then we look at our own lives - ordinary, mundane, boring in comparison.
There are dishes to be done, clothes to be washed, children to tend to. And we find ourselves dreaming of doing 'great things' like those that inspire us.

We find ourselves feeling insignificant in comparison.

April Photo a Day Challenge ~ day 1 to day 16

Day 1 - Your reflection

Day 2 - colour

Day 3 - mail